Blessings of Love

Well, as always so much has happened since I last updated all of you. As I sit here sipping my coffee, I am so filled with the love that God has shown us through so many of you. While this journey is not an easy one, there are so many amazing moments and people that God has placed in our lives. I will do my best to get you up to date, and share our moments with you.

The biggest highlights of our lives in the past couple months have nothing to do with my cancer journey, but the amazing children that we have been gifted. Ryan graduated from high school, and Sarah received the precious Body and Blood of our Lord in the Holy Sacrament of Communion. These milestones happened in the same weekend, and for the first time since our move we were surrounded by family. Anthony's parents recently picked up everything, and moved across the country to be closer to us. My dad and his wife have also been staying with us off and on since late May to help support us in our day to day life right now. My uncle and aunt came down from the Canton area to be with us for our festivities. It was so amazing to have a house full of love as our children grew in faith, and maturity. Ryan is taking a year off to work and save money. Sarah is growing in faith, and now eagerly anticipates receiving our Lord each and every Sunday.

As I shared, family has been close to us for the first time in four years. This has been a huge blessing over the past month. My dad and his wife, Karen, arrived in town just a couple days after my first round of chemo. Days 3 and 4 after chemo, I was not really able to function. My dad and Karen jumped right in and took care of the kiddos and everything around the house. I did not have to worry about anything, and could just let my body heal. I can't imagine what that week would have been like without their help.

On the same weekend we were celebrating Ryan and Sarah, my shoulder pain became almost unmanageable. Unfortunately the cancer has spread to the ball of my shoulder. Anthony and I decided that it was time to try palliative radiation, but I was unable to drive myself the 30 minutes there and 30-45 minutes back each day. When my dad was staying with us, he would drive me to treatment. When my dad left town, Anthony's dad would drive 20 minutes to pick me up, drive me 30 minutes for my 10 minute appointment, drive me about 45 minutes back home, and then about 30 minutes back to his house. (My appointments were during the beginning of rush hour traffic.) The sacrifice of both of our dads to ensure that I could get the treatment that I needed, has been such a gift. As I went through radiation the pain did start to subside. I am still receiving relief from those treatments, and am hopeful that the radiation has started to kill the cancer cells in my shoulder.

In between radiation and chemo, we had the wonderful blessing of seeing some very dear friends from Arizona. Three families, from our faith family in Arizona, were traveling to Catholic Family Land, and stopped by to see us. We had not seen some of these friends since we moved to Ohio four years ago. We were able to share dinner together in our home and start to catch up. The following morning we attended Mass together, and they all layed hands upon me and prayed over me before our Lord and Savior in the Blessed Sacrament. We then all had brunch in our home before two of the families needed to head out. Daniel got to have a mini pre-birthday celebration with with God-family as well. It was so good to be able to spend time with these special people. They have been such a big part in our faith journey. It was just what I needed to help build me up for my second round of chemo.

My second round of chemo had to be postponed to allow time for radiation. I had my second dose of chemo, and my immunotherapy on June 22nd. ( I was also able to start receiving my immunotherapy infusions again thanks to an assistance program through Merck Pharmaceuticals. My insurance will not cover the cost of my immunotherapy due to the fact that I had progression in the cancer in my bones. So we turned to Merck and a program they have for patients who cannot otherwise afford the medication. While Anthony and I were driving home from my first chemotherapy treatment, I received a call from Merck stating that I was approved for the program, and Merck would cover the entire cost of my Keytruda infusions. As the gentleman was speaking, I could feel the tears start welling up in my eyes. I was so grateful that I could not contain my emotions. I started crying on the phone with him, and told him how grateful I was. We thanked God for this amazing chance I have to beat this cancer!) This round of treatments was a little bit different on my body. I actually started getting nauseous the night of treatment. I was grateful that it was a Friday. I literally slept almost all day on Saturday, and most of the day on Sunday. I was grateful to be able to make it to Mass, but that was really the only thing I did aside from rest in my bed all weekend. Anthony's dad came over to be with the kids that Monday, one of my amazing neighbors helped with the kiddos on Tuesday, then my dad and Karen were back in town and helped the rest of that week with the kids and things around the house. Each day got a little bit better, and by Thursday I was mostly myself again. I was grateful to be able to make dinner for my family that night.

So I guess overall, I am doing well. People tell me how good I look (often in a surprised tone) so I'm thinking that my body is handling treatments pretty well. I did start to lose my hair. My family tries to tell me that most people wouldn't be able to tell because I had so much hair to begin with, but I would say that I have lost about 1/3 of my hair. My front part is really thin, so I am more comfortable wearing scarves on my head when I go out. I did find some head covers that I like and are big enough for me, so that's a plus. I am still reading Hinds Feet on High Places. It is a slow spiritual reading for me. I read some things over and over. It is like I am traveling spiritually with the main character who is named Much Afraid. As she struggles and grows, I find myself going through similar struggles, and needing to grow in some of the same ways. There are times that I sit in my room asking God why I have to go through cancer. Why does our family have to endure one more medical thing? Then I pick up this book, and am reminded of the love and compassion that the God has for me. I am reminded that the journey on this earth is really to prepare me for an unimaginable love in eternity. While this is definitely not an easy journey, I am being prepared to spend eternity with my maker. Just as gold and silver need to be purified through fire, so I am purified through this time of suffering. No, God does not make me suffer, but he can use it to bring me closer to Him.

I have my next scans next week, then I think my next chemo will be around the 19th of July. We may have the opportunity to do some traveling as a family, so I am moving my next treatments around a little bit. It may take a bit for me to get results, and then process everything with my family, but I will keep you up to date when I can. Please know how much we appreciate each and every one of you that is journeying with us. We are so grateful for the continued support! Each meal, each person who helps with the kids, each dollar that is donated to help our family, each prayer that is said, each sacrifice that is made is so appreciated! We ask that you continue to pray for us. Please continue to especially pray for Ryan and Kyle as they process everything that our family endures. They are at a time of life where they are making their faith journey their own. One of the most amazing, yet most difficult things is to watch your children step out from under the protection of your wings. They are amazing young men! We pray that through all of these struggles they can continue to see God's love, and guiding hand. Please know that we also pray for you each and every day! We hold you in our hearts and are so grateful that you are with us on our journey. Jesus, we trust in You! St. Pope John Paul II, pray for us! St. Padre Pio, pray for us!